TV is the devil o yea
It leads us into temptation.
That devious device we invite into our homes to
sit in the corner and batter us with
crass comments and insidious urgings.
It says the kingdoms of sports, movies and crime drama
will be ours if only we fall down and worship it.
Its forked tongue turns us from participants to observers
in the dance of life.
Every night it comes bearing news,
but even this serves only to depress and fill us with fear
and a sense of hopelessness in a world out of control.
TV is the devil o yea.
The microwave is Lazarus o yea
It brings food which is stiff and cold
back to life, to be enjoyed once more.
The dishwasher is John The Baptist o yea
It cleanses our plates and glasses
And washes their unholiness away.
The refrigerator is Noah’s Ark o yea
Into this vessel go the chickens and the fishes
and the lambs and the bacons and the beefs and the turkeys
that would otherwise surely perish.
The sink is Pontious Pilate o yea
Where we wash our hands of all that ails us.
The radio is Jesus o yea
So let’s gather round and listen.